Ten things which raised an eyebrow this week

Ten things which raised an eyebrow this week

Following the week in which a 13 year old beheaded a 5 year old in revenge for an alledged sex attack, a dog named Trigger shot its owner and Morrisons was sued by 2,000 employees, EP brings you a round-up of some other news items, stories and events which you may have missed

  1. “Take 2 aspirin and call me in the meow-ning!” In Germany a cat was found drunk in the basement 7 weeks after it was accidentally locked in a wine cellar – the inebriated moggy managed to keep hunger at bay by drinking 3 bottles of plonk during his incarceration
  2. Heads up! On Friday 13th November a piece of so-called “space junk” is going to crash to Earth! If scientists have anticipated its trajectory correctly it looks set to land in the Indian Ocean, around 62 miles off the coast of Sri Lanka
  3. GOOD DEED FEED: In Ireland it’s a case of “Little brother is watching”. A 10 year old boy clung to the door of a moving 4×4 and punched the driver after watching a stranger snatch his 11 year old sister from the family garden! Seeing the man grab the girl and throw her into his car, the boy gave chase, distracting the would-be-captor thereby affording his sibling the chance to jump out of the vehicle and run home
  4. Chewbacca was arrested for supporting Darth Vader in his bid to become Mayor of Odessa. The Wookie was fined $7.50 for “illegally campaigning on election day” – though it may take a while to collect payment as his “funds are in an intergalactic bank that has no branches on this planet”
  5. …Meanwhile, clearly nonplussed by “political correctness” five-time Toledo Mayoral candidate Opal Covey has warned voters that if she’s not elected to office ” God will come and visit the city in the greatest destruction youÂ’ve ever seen”
  6. If’s official, we’re addicted to technology. Research shows that, without even realising it, the average person will now spend 5 hours checking their smartphones 85 times a day
  7. Two armed F-16 fighter jets were dispatched to chase down a 242ft runaway blimp after it came loose and floated from Maryland to Pennsylvania, wreaking havoc with airline traffic and knocking out powerlines to 30,000 homes
  8. You may want to go outside for a few hours as research suggests that being indoors is making us stupid as normal indoor levels of carbon dioxide and volatile organic compounds negatively impact human cognitive function and decision-making
  9. Taking part in a Halloween challenge, American radio DJ Louie G was left shame-faced after he was filmed having a monumental breakdown while touching a teddy bear, blindfolded – not knowing what he was touching, he later admitted he had “scared the s**t out of myself” unnecessarily
  10. If you think you’re having a bad week, spare a thought for Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz, Donald Trump and Ben Carson who all complained that the Republican Presidential debate questions were too hard… It’s a good thing the job is so easy! Diddums!

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