Ten things which raised an eyebrow this week

Ten things which raised an eyebrow this week

Following the week in which Twitter appointed a Chairman who has only used the social media platform 11 times, Sweden introduced a 6-hour work day and astronomers believe they may have discovered “Alien megastructures” orbiting Mars, EP brings you a round-up of some other news items, stories and events which you may have missed

  1. Noting the Australian economy is “flagging due to falling global commodity prices”, a petition to change the Country’s legal tender to “Dollarydoos” has already attracted in excess of 11,000 signatures (only 15,000 are required before Parliament are required to discuss)
  2. In New Zealand, the Hamilton Zoo has come under fire for the wording used in a job advert which noted that “an exciting opportunity has arisen” for a Zookeeper to join the team, less than a month after the previous post-holder was killed by a Sumatran Tiger
  3. “My wife found out I’ve been cheating, and I need to get my clothes back out of the dumpster!”, “The doctor said I need more Vitamin D so I’m going to spend the day at the beach” and “The Universe is telling me to take the day off!” are just some of the more off-the-wall ‘explanations’ people have given for taking a day off work
  4. That’s more than sufficient to cover his 5-a-day … In Florida, Bradley Reiter has been arrested for unlawfully harvesting and therefore stealing 4million pounds of fruit valued at over US$500,000
  5. Amassing more than 1.3 million hours of unpaid overtime since the Charlie Hebdoo shootings in January, the 700-strong elite close-protection unit in France claim to be so tired they have been regularly (and accidentally) shooting themselves with one officer inadvertently releasing his weapon inside the Elysée Palace
  6. In Norway, police are appealing for help from the public in identifying cheap take-aways as they note that restaurants offering pizza for less than E6 can only be doing so if they’re not paying tax
  7. In New Jersey, all 28 members of the Rider University Men’s Cross-Country running team have been suspended after campus police caught some of them preparing to run naked around the tracks as part of what school officials have deemed a “hazing ritual”
  8. We’re not in Common Sense any more Toto! In Kansas, police had to evacuate an entire neighbourhood after a local resident tried to put out a fire in his garden using a truck full of ammunition which he “didn’t understand” could explode when heated!
  9. If you think you’re having a bad week then spare a thought for the teenager in Shanghai whose mother was so frustrated by his unwillingness to get a job that she chained his hands & feet and paraded him through the streets to shame him into submission
  10. Ending on a bum note – A man in Scotland was admitted to hospital with a miniature, razor-sharp sword up his rectum which he had tried to use in a DIY operation to remove haemorrhoids… It seems that while trying to manoeuvre himself into the position necessary to attempt such a deed, the unfortunate man lost his balance, slipped and impaled himself on the weapon!

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